I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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