your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
