just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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