4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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