dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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