I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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