Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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