i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
