Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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