We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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