i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
there is glitter all over my balls
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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