Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
