i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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