Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
