My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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