It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
