is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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