I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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