Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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