is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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