He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
