When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize