Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
