apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
