I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
