You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I touched a dick in church today
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize