He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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