my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
