im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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