He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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