Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
