sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
