ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
