so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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