i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
