i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
