Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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