Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
