dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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