im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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