he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
