my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize