Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did I show you my penis last night?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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