she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dick very happy bro
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
