I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
