i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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