I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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