i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
