went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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