Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
