Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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