are you so shy because you have an std?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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