i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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