the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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