dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
