I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
