So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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