We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
