So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
