After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
