We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize