They should really pass out barf bags in church
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
