Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
