OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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