well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Mom said you looked used
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
