thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
