Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
now i know why i became what i already was.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
