please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i came on her dog
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
