You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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