And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
