She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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