Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
