I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
