We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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