You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
