then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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