god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
